Entries before sleep.
October 15th, 2010

Dear Eyes

Dear eyes,
I must have overworked you. I can’t read the subtitles on the TV anymore.
I used to believe big eyes see a bigger world but tonight I would like to change it to big eyes see a blur world. I suddenly remember Pan’s Labyrinth’s monster and thought perhaps, if you guys were on my hands, I can move them closer to the TV.
While doing some research, I found a website dedicated to eyes on hands. The pictures freaked me out a little so I decided to save it for tomorrow morning.
I love you eyes.


by micca | Posted in dreams, illustrations | No Comments » | Tags:
May 3rd, 2010

Psalm 94:19

Read the rest of this entry »

by micca | Posted in god, personal | No Comments » |
December 1st, 2009

A multitude of mixed feelings revolving in chaos.

by micca | Posted in personal | No Comments » |
November 29th, 2009

Indeed we live to learn

Everyday we learn something
Learn the things we hope to know
The things we want to know
and also those we don’t really want to know.

by micca | Posted in personal | No Comments » |
November 25th, 2009


In the world I hope to live in is transparent,
Only the hearts speak, feelings disperse like perfume
And nothing else really matters.

by micca | Posted in personal, poetry | No Comments » |
November 16th, 2009

Did I kill someone? Why is there guilt?

To dream that you have committed a murder, indicates that you are putting an end to an old habit and your former ways of thinking. This could also mean an end to an addiction.Alternatively, you may have some repressed aggression or rage at yourself or at others. Note also that dreams of murder occur frequently during periods of depression.

by micca | Posted in dreams | No Comments » |
August 8th, 2009


morning; gentle breeze came with a familiar smell of dead times.

Like a cat, I slept part of Saturday away.

by micca | Posted in dreams, personal, poetry | No Comments » |
February 23rd, 2009

another crazy dream – tunnel of vampires

It was new year eve, after work.

Wen and I left the office together like always, heading to the train station. It wasn’t like a normal day, the sky was really dark and people on the streets were in the bars, none of them were sitting outside. We kept walking and reached the tunnel of vampires. In the tunnel of vampires, we’re supposed to stay a distance of 1m from those beings. Wen was so clumsy he didn’t pay attention and he bumped onto one of them. That vampire started sniffing him and before I could do anything, he was bitten to death by a swarm of vampires (the scenario was like bees attacking an animal). I was frightened, I walked backwards, trying to stay as far as I could and I hit something hard…

I turned around and right in front of me is a bloody huge brown vampire king who looks like scorpion king. I forced myself to wake up immediately.

by micca | Posted in dreams | No Comments » |
February 2nd, 2009

we all know that.

by micca | Posted in personal, photography, poetry | No Comments » |
January 17th, 2009

小米 2006 –

by micca | Posted in films, music, personal, photography, poetry | No Comments » |
December 27th, 2008

cold wind

bin, the curtain keeps you away.
by micca | Posted in personal, photography | No Comments » |
December 9th, 2008


by micca | Posted in personal, photography | No Comments » |
October 12th, 2008

can you see the rainbow?

yvonne came back into our room and asked,”You guys want to see rainbow?”

we left our seats and headed out and saw not only one rainbow, but two. It looks rather faint here, but if you look closely, it’s in the centre of the picture whereas the second one is almost invisible.

by micca | Posted in people, personal, photography | No Comments » |
September 21st, 2008

eat pray love?

Everyone’s telling me to read the infamous Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, Eat, pray, love. I’ve finally gotten my hands onto it but I’m not exactly keen to read it yet.

I’m supposed to be moving on really well and work’spretty awesome, but I can’t deny the fact that i still leave office feeling miserable most of the evenings, especially during the hour long bus rides accompanied with songs that never fail to illustrate a love story in my head. Sometimes to avoid that, I have to cab home – minimise the whole mental discomfort.

Recently I’ve purchased an essential oil that has the ability to make you sleep, almost immediately after burning. On my first night, I overslept and after every other night, i woke up often with a good dream to recall. About dreams, the most recent one was about me and him discovering a house within a room in my present apartment. In it, the ‘secret’ house emitted a bright warm light shining at us. We walked towards the light and in front of us was a huge home theatre, soft canvas sofa and everyone in my family was there, even my nieces, nephews, relatives I see once a year, were in the crowd. The rest of the dream were gone. I’ve come to realise that dreams are like perfume, they smell so good but such fragrance don’t usually last as long as you want them to be.

Friday was probably the best night of this year, having it spent with my 2 greatest buddies. We’ve gotten closer once again and tomorrow, we’re going to be separated for about eight months. Ping’s heading back to London. I hope that dude comes back next year with better stories to tell. See you soon.

Also to all of you, have a good week.

by micca | Posted in books, dreams, people, personal | No Comments » |
September 2nd, 2008


by micca | Posted in illustrations, personal | No Comments » |
June 13th, 2008

Protected: Hopeless

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May 6th, 2008

about sleep

can’t sleep.

I’m waiting for a good dream. Haven’t had any exciting one for a long time.

wondering if I should sleep.

Yes. (now i recall, must be the tea. )

by micca | Posted in dreams | No Comments » |
May 1st, 2008

worms nation

When I got out of the hospital,  there was a terrible itch on my scalp. I scratched it and was pricked by something. As I pulled it out, I didn’t react the way I’m supposed to be – shocked. A fucking meal-worm was resting on my scalp. I carried on walking, and begin to realise the whole town was infested with worms; our bodies had meal-worms all over, the trees had worms dangling on strings, and the man on the bench had it in his jacket. It looked like it was normal, I wasn’t afraid, I just got a little irritated by the itch and was awaken by the meal-worm that bit my leg.

Two nights ago, I had a series of random dream. I can’t really remember much except seeing a sea coved with waves. Not those typical waves, but those filled with white foam and they came like killer waves but at a slower speed.

On the night Apatsra left for Thailand, she called me and sounded odd. For a moment, in the dream, I thought I was talking to her spirit. Her voice was low and i pictured a pale faced woman during the conversation. I was so bothered by this dream and had to call her to check if she’s doing well. Thank god she picked up my call.

Well, I’d never want to see you unhappy
I thought you’d want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind

by micca | Posted in dreams, people, personal | No Comments » |
March 25th, 2008

yet another sleepless night.

Once, i lived for nothing.
Then i lived for more of him.
Now, i live for what?

by micca | Posted in personal | No Comments » |
March 15th, 2008

Immediately after I woke up

My dream in 3 parts, vaguely.

1. I was in an old flat, whatever the happened in the unit I was in, I can’t recall much except my curtains were of livid blue and I was cold, lying on the sofa, watching the tv then I got out of the house.

2. At a (bigger than normal) pasar malam- I was waiting for my soup to be ready. I stood in front of the woman making the soup and she forcefully told her daughter to stand in front of the bowl of soup (her back was facing me). Somehow I felt something was wrong. I stole a glance before they knew and to my horror, she was making her daughter spit the seaweed from her mouth into the soup.   The sight was really gross and I told her I didn’t want it anymore. She gave me a killer stare.

3. We were in a room. 3 of us. He did me first and later the girl in front of me disappeared. The next moment, both of us were on the floor, his head on my back.  I was reading the bible and he was reading a tiny red book. (Strangely I could feel his head on my bare back even though it was only a dream.) Not long after, his dad came in and saw us on the floor covered with blankets. I felt guilty for an unknown reason. Elliott went out the room with his dad and told me (we conversed without talking) to wait for him.

And he came back with something that broke my heart. Bloody cane marks. There were no question of doubt why all these happened ( perhaps dreams really don’t make sense). He looked like the most helpless man when I nursed his wounds, and…

4. The room changed into a living room. A relative was teaching her baby how to walk beside me. The baby came to me and I carried her around. I was really delighted to see the baby and this feeling stopped when I realised Elliott was nowhere in sight.

I woke up.

by micca | Posted in dreams | No Comments » |
March 11th, 2008

feign ignorance

feign ignorance when u don’t feel like carrying on a conversation. i thought it was the most direct way to shut someone up but he just went on and on and on…

i was really down the entire day. i felt the rain was deliberate and being alone on such a night could easily kill me. elliott smith was my medicine, my invisible companion. he’s probably an angel now too because his voice makes me calm. however too much of him makes me suicidal for an unknown reason, especially listening to true love, which is on repeat right now.

i desire happiness so much more than before.

by micca | Posted in personal | No Comments » |
March 9th, 2008

veronika decides to die

She picked up the four packs of sleeping pills from her bedside table. Instead of crushing them and mixing them with water, she decided to take them one by one, because there is always a gap between intention and action, and she wanted to feel free to turn back halfway. However, with each pill she swallowed, she felt more convinced: after five minutes the packs were empty.

I’ve been ambitionless. why do I keep thinking abt Hong Kong? If you haven’t already known, I was there last week. I miss everything there and among all my trips, I love this the most because Ass reads the map and we really explored the places with our feet. If only we could stay there for a longer time.
pictures here

by micca | Posted in books, dreams, people, personal, photography | No Comments » |
January 6th, 2008

my niece, gayle

i can play dressing-up games all day ( cos mommy’s not around)!
by micca | Posted in family, personal | 9 Comments » |
October 13th, 2007

Protected: :c

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September 11th, 2007

our last meeting before he leaves for LCC.

yong ping and suhery at 22, still the same.

Soon after this shot was taken, we headed to the balcony and talked about Illuminati, army, rain clouds, orgasm day in brazil, girls and I can’t remember the rest. Our last moments were lying on the ‘rooftop’ in rows and talking about how fast the clouds were travelling and hussein yong ping spotted a hole in the sky and said “That’s the sky’s asshole.”

by micca | Posted in dreams, people | 7 Comments » |

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